Sasha Writes

Notebook of Flow Less Thoughts..

I still can't believe
that six years have passed..
All of us fought
Not for wealth..
Not for power..
But to survive..
To take one more breath..

We WON..
You lost..
You had to leave..
Even without last respect..

I still recall..
That mourning surrounding..
Full of mosquitoes..
Weeping noise all over..
It is still shocking me..
That You all left me and went..

Friends, relations and neighbors..
I can give a huge list..
It is still paining to recall..
The way they had to leave..

Time flies..
Six years have passed..
Memories are left..
Every time I see the sea..
I recall the battle to survive..

[This was written in memory of all my relations, neighbors, friends and everyone who left us on the 26th of December 2004. Time may fly.. But memories never die.. I still remember every second of that battle.. God.. I Pray You.. No more Tsunamis..!]

(This is from the movie New York [2009] nd for some reason I just love it.. Could not stop blogging it... )

Tune jo na kaha mein woh sunta raha
What you never uttered is what I always heard.

Khamakha bewaja khwaab buntha raha
Just for nothing, without reason I kept on weaving dreams.

mmmm mmm mmmmmm… mmm mmmm

Tune jo na kaha, mein woh sunta raha
What you never uttered is what I always heard.

Khamakha bewaja khwaab buntha raha
Just for nothing, without reason I kept on weaving dreams

Jaane kiski humein lag gayi hai nazar
Don't know whose evil eye casted upon me

Is shehar mein na apna tikana raha
Now there is no place/shelter left for me in this city

Durr chaahat se main apni chalta raha
I kept on walking away from my love

Khamaka bewaja khwaab buntha raha
Just for nothing, without reason I kept on weaving dreams

Watch the full video here..

Once again I let you down..
I let you break
And hit the ground

Dear Heart..
I know the pain is great..
I'm trying to fix it
But i suppose it was my own fate..

Dear Heart,
I learned my lesson
Please forgive me..
I beg you
Please forgive me..

Dear Heart,
I don't blame you
While you were trying to warn me
I did what my mind made me do

Perhaps I was a fool..
I should have listened to you..
I am Sorry that I didn't..
At the end I end up breaking you..

I promise AGAIN..
Never again I will doubt you..
In my choices you'll play the biggest part
My dear heart..
I'm sorry that you are broken..

Starting point of this point of this blog post is a question asked my lecturer on last Friday. Actually what he meant was the book "Who Will Cry When Die" by Robin Sharma but since that I am trying to answer this question but I find no answer for that. Many of my batch mates were clueless and was staring at the lecturer with a question mark when he asked "Who will cry when you die?"..

Ok.. Fine.. Here is my story.. I am trying to answer this question "Who will Cry When I Die?"

I start from people around me.. I am thinking.. Thinking.. Thinking.. I have tried to make people pleased.. But many of those attempt failed and ended up making me feel like a loser.. In fact I have not made anyone happy.. I have done nothing to the society.. So who is gonna cry when I die?

One aspect to the answer is my parent. Well.. They will obviously cry because I am their only kid.. Apart from that I have no siblings or anyone to be worried about if I die..

Lets go to the next step.. FRIENDS.. Answer is there are no friends who will actually feel the loss of this girl called "Hajara".. I have done nothing to friends.. I have never made them happy.. I actually do not understand them.. So, no one is going to cry..

Next.. The society..I have done nothing to the society.. They actually do not feel whether I am alive or dead.. So the conclusion is there is going to be no impact on the society when I die.. So that nobody is going to cry for me..

I think I need a change.. I need to do something to the society.. The society should remember me at least for few years after my death.. I should seek a way to make a difference.. Seeking begins..!

Long journey
Comes to an end..
It is the big day..
You all graduate..

I am sad..
Because you vacate..
I am happy
Because my best friend is a graduate..

All these days..
The door was closed..
You tried hard and
Made it opened..
Go through it..
Start your career....

Do not look back..
You will feel satisfied..
Look forward..
And achieve more..!

Congratulations on you graduation and Good Luck with your career..!!

[This is another flow less thought on graduation of my best friend Haneez Haroon.. Congratulations.. You are a graduate now.. ! ]

I can prove me right..
With movies and quotes..
It is all about fantasy..
Never the reality..

You are something
Out of my reach..
I made the mistake
knowing that
It was a mistake..

Expectations are high..
I can not comply..
What can I do
If I can not abide by..

I hate the realty..
I need that fantasy..
Oh.. No..
Why can't I accept
That I made a mistake?

Do you read me?
Yes.. NO.. NO..!
May be Yes.. May be No..
All what I know is
I am taking to an unresponsive creature..

When love is what I am trying to hide
None understands what is wrong..
Sudden sparks appear..
And disappear after a while..
Making everyone think I am OK..

Yes.. I pretend.. I am OK..
Yes.. It is easier..
Easier than explaining
Why I am not OK..
And Please do believe..
I am OK..

Dear Love,

Can you hear me?
I wish you can..
But in reality you don't..
Do you know how much I care for you?
I guess you don't..
Every time I tried to make you see
That there is somebody to right next to you
Fate brought up a wall
between you and me..
I no more bear heart breaks..
Tell me whether this is real or an illusion?
Just Accept me or reject me..




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